notes on a celebrity: dax shepard sucks

I’m about to spend a few minutes and a thousand words bashing Dax Shepard, who is, for those unaware, a 50ish-year-old American actor with a handful of unnotable acting roles and a popular podcast. The one thing I’ll say in this piece that may come across as giving Shepard credit is that he has been doing his podcast, Armchair Expert, since 2018. He is not a bandwagon celebrity-podcast guy like so many other famous people out there.

However, Armchair Expert still lives in the bucket of “we don’t need this” because we really don’t need some fucking guy interviewing primarily famous people. I just don’t think we need that.

Besides the podcast, Shepard has been in a bunch of mostly bad comedies, mostly that I haven’t seen, and I really only know his acting from NBC’s hit sob-show Parenthood. I watched Parenthood immediately after finishing Gilmore Girls for the first time because I needed more annoying, ass- charming Lauren Graham in my life, and this guy plays her brother, alongside Peter Krause. They have a fourth sibling in Erika Christensen, who is from Seattle! But who is also a scientologist irl. Oh, also, I think Shepard was on Punk’d, but I really did not remember that until right now because I thought I might just be confusing him with Ashton Kutcher. But it seems right that he was on Punk’d, a show about sort-of-famous white men pranking other famous white men, which was the height of hilarity in the early aughts.

The other thing Shepard is known for is being married to Kristen Bell, who most people collectively agree is an angel.