november 2025, giving thanks?

I wrote about it in a newsletter a few weeks ago, but didn't fully explain the issue. I also won't do that here, but November consisted of:

• Arguing online about the need for thanksgiving to exist.
• Arguing online about whether I am Black or not, considering my tiny pic on threads doesn't satisfy the masses.
• Working a lot, for little money, at a small business.
• Arguing with an instructor about one single missed point in a presentation.
• Doing homework.
• Feeling like a dick when I set boundaries about holidays.
• Arguing with actual friends about the holiday of thanksgiving and its existence.
• Feeling bad about myself because I look white but also don't look white, and I never know where to fit in or what to call myself.
• Feeling tired, reminding myself that I have long ago retired strangers' ability to tell me who I am.
• Arguing, again, about everything.
• And reading.

Always reading.

[books I read]

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon (2015) | Quick summary: Madeline Whittier has severe combined immunodeficiency (SCID) and can't leave her house, but then she falls in love.
I took the 2015 of it all to heart when considering whether or not I enjoyed this book. When I ignore the reality that this book is 10 years old, I want to be critical, but when I acknowledge the publication date, I am less so. This book has long been on my list because a kid I worked with told me it was their favorite. I thought about them reading it. I hope they enjoy it when they revisit it, and I hope they know they inspired someone to read it.
[fiction, YA, written by a jamaican-american author, shorter read]

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London (2020) | Quick summary: Critic Bea becomes the first plus-sized bachelorette on a reality show after critiquing it on her blog.
Everyone knows I got into "Bachelor Nation" recently because my best friend's dad was on The Golden Bachelorette. Funnily enough, because I like reading stories by and about fat people, this book has long been on my list, even before I knew a thing about The Bachelor. Besides this book being way too long, which is my complaint for a lot of "romcom" books, I adored this. It helps to know about The Bachelor, but it is definitely not a requirement.
[fiction, romcom, written by a white novelist, screenwriter, and political strategist, longer read]

The Department of Speculation by Jenny Offill (2000) | Quick summary: A diatribe into intimacy, trust, faith, knowledge, or, in short, marriage.
There's nothing I am more interested in than relationships, which is probably why I'm earning my master's degree in social work. This book is an honest portrait of marriage, including the complications of intimacy, trust, and faith. Offill is thoughtful and introspective, so even if you haven't been married (me!), but you've been in intimate and romantic relationships, you'll get it. Emotionally intelligent, honest, and so good.
[literary fiction, psychological fiction, written by a white american novelist, medium-length read]

The Quickening: Creation and Community at the Ends of the Earth by Elizabeth Rush (2023) | Quick summary: Insight into Antarctica, climate change, community, and motherhood.
I fucking adored this book. Elizabeth Rush is an excellent storyteller who had me gripping the pages during her dangerous and fascinating Antarctic exploration and also thinking so deeply and honestly about child-rearing and motherhood at a "time like this." Beautiful, adventurous, captivating, full of birth stories—this book was great.
[nonfiction, climatology, environmental science, written by a white american author, longer read]

[books I heard]

The Only Plane in the Sky: An Oral History of September 11, 2001 by Garrett M. Graff (2019) | Quick summary: A comprehensive oral history of September 11, 2001, from myriad voices on the front lines.
I love talking about, reading about, and hearing about 9/11. I imagine it's because I was a fresh 14-year-old when those towers went down, and the major event created more questions than answers for me. And though I'm from Seattle, Washington, it shaped my entire way of navigating the world, though I didn't realize that for many years.
[nonfiction, american history, written by a white american journalist, historian, and commentator, read by a diverse cast of voices, long listen]

The Glass Eye: A Memoir by Jeannie Vanasco (2017) | Quick summary: A reflection on being in grief, loss, being a daughter, loving your father, and mental health.
I love Jeannie Vanasco's writing, my god! This is a memoir/biography about someone who lost her father and cannot "get over" his death. Beside the fact that I will always read a book about grief and loss and death, beside the fact that I don't believe in "getting over" the death of a loved one, beside the fact that Jannie Vanasco's dad had a glass eye, which gave this book a beautiful throughline–I found it fucking fascinating that Jeannie was named after her late father's late daughter. This book is as much about grieving a father as it is about discovering a sister, uncovering truths, and getting to know who the fuck you are in the shadow of all of those who came before you. Excellent.
[nonfiction, biography, memoir, written by a white (?) american writer and author, read by julie mckay]

Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett (2005) | Quick summary: The story of two writers and best friends whose paths tragically diverge.
I'm going to break out and write about this one in a paid newsletter, so stay tuned.
[nonfiction, biography, memoir, written by a white american author, long listen, read by the author]

[books I recommend]

• If you are in Bachelor Nation or love a good romcom: One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London
• If you think about motherhood: The Department of Speculation by Jenny Offill and The Quickening by Elizabeth Rush
• If your loved one has died: The Glass Eye: A Memoir by Jeannie Vanasco

“Everything’s a risk. Not doing anything is a risk." Everything Everything

"What would my life be like if I followed it?" The Department of Speculation

"Right now, it is frightfully easy to accept, without interrogation, that the world is ending. But there isn't just one world, and this isn't the first time much has been lost." The Quickening

“Our friendship was like our writing in some ways. It was the only thing that was interesting about our otherwise dull lives." Truth & Beauty