Jess Tholmer

Jess Tholmer

23
Apr

An Untitled Work of Fiction: Chapter 2

Besides his charm, he was sweet, funny, and actually quite respectful of women. “Maybe he’s bi,” I wondered, but that shouldn’t have mattered, regardless, because most damning of all, he had a girlfriend. A live-in girlfriend.
6 min read
16
Apr

An Untitled Work of Fiction: Chapter 1

He'd worked at this restaurant for under three months when I tripped on the top step of a nail salon, fell down a flight of rickety concrete steps, and shattered my left leg.
9 min read
01
Apr
broken headlight and hood on a subaru forester

March 2025, spring break and flying logs

Spring has sprung, and here's what Jess Tholmer read in March.
7 min read
21
Mar
you paid for this: celebrities and their podcasts

you paid for this: celebrities and their podcasts

I'd feel wholly disheartened embarking on that journey now because who would listen to me over Meghan Markle or like, idk fucking Michelle Obama?
6 min read
04
Mar
February 2025, look, whatever

February 2025, look, whatever

Headline inspired by nightmare retail customers via Lyndsey Frank, specifically my friend Nina's character. @lyndseyisfrank retail employees need
6 min read
27
Feb
Luke Danes (Scott Patterson) in his first scene on Gilmore girls

you paid for this: luke is an...okay boyfriend

Sorry to the people who don't like my Gilmore girls posts, but the people who do outweigh y&
5 min read
22
Feb
Image of a black ghost with text that reads, "I have news. I have broken up with Substack."

News, everybody!

I'm on ghost now. This is a post to both announce that I've made the shift
2 min read
02
Feb
January 2025, reading to cope

January 2025, reading to cope

a round two of a president trump, terrible news, tragedy everywhere, and a dry month
7 min read
30
Jan
you paid for this: dry january, or do I drink too much?

you paid for this: dry january, or do I drink too much?

an exploration into the fad and my dad
9 min read
01
Jan
December 2024, a bookish year all wrapped up

December 2024, a bookish year all wrapped up

that's a wrap on '24, folks
7 min read